a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
