you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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