No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
