hotel room ftw
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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