fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
