found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
this hospital has no fireball
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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