If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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