u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize