my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize