but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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