please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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