I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
