We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
