"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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