he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
