she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize