i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
