Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
