last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize