i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
