do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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