Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
cat food counts as protein by the way
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize