hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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