yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
