Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
