Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize