Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
pray to the hookup gods
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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