it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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