This girl is more easily done than said...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You made out with two different species that night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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