I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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