Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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