We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
