Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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