covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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