She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
