Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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