this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were destined to go to rehab together
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
