i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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