You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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