the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
