I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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