69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
