no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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