You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
