There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
