puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
