Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.

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(845): View more from New York

when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.

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(616): View more from Michigan

The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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(352): View more from Florida

dude they were twins that means they were both only 17

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(845): View more from New York

he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.

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(937): View more from Ohio

don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

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(662): View more from Mississippi

He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?

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