hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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