Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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