Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
