I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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