Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
that is very illegal...i love you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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