$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
