So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
