they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
