Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
