I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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