i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
