My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize