drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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