I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
