i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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